Have you ever thought about how your clothes make you feel? Not just are they comfortable, itchy or have a scratchy tag, or you like the feel of velvet, or buttery soft leather, but inside your head and heart?
Mental Comfort
Personality is the key to finding and developing your style. Personality comes into play when we talk about the mental comfort of clothing.
If you have a need to be appropriate and like to check the dress code to confirm that what you are wearing is correct for the occasion, then you obtain mental comfort when you fit into the environment.
For some women, mental comfort may need them to be different to everyone else. One of my image consulting students gained mental comfort being different to everybody else. When she was younger, she would adapt her school uniform to be different from everybody else’s and as soon as other girls copied her she’d feel the need to change it again.
Leggings are very physically comfortable but for me, they’re only mentally comfortable if I’m exercising or I’m doing something that requires that movement and flexibility. Leggings are not mentally comfortable for me if I’m going to the shops.
Emotional Comfort
If you attach a story, a significant meaning or sentimental value to an item of clothing, it may provide you with a level of emotional comfort. It can be hard to let go of the item for fear of losing the memories or feelings associated with the item. Often garments that have been favourites in the past, stay in your wardrobe unworn. A dress you wore to a significant occasion or a scarf you purchased on holidays. You can’t actually imagine wearing them again as they are from a previous time in your life.
You may also have clothes in your wardrobe that you don’t like or that don’t suit you and you and don’t wear, but you feel you can’t get rid of because they were given as gifts. There is an emotional comfort in keeping those clothes even though they are cluttering up your space.
I tell my clients to keep the love and the memories, but get rid of the stuff. There is only so much stuff we can keep in our life, too much clutter is bad for our mental health.
Emotional comfort may also include garments that fit your personal values as if there is discord with your values, you will feel emotionally uncomfortable.
This outfit is comfortable for me but only when I wear a pair of boots, if I was wearing a pair of sneakers I’d feel less comfortable mentally!
Physical comfort
This is one of the obvious but often ignored issues with clothing selection is how clothing feels. How the fabric feels on the skin; how the garment sits on our body and the ease of the garment’s construction.
We often buy clothes that are a bit uncomfortable in some way or other. This discomfort affects us all day – tugging; pulling and adjusting the garment or being annoyed by that scratchy tag or loose thread. This discomfort is a distraction and takes our minds away from the tasks we should be focused on. Being irritated by your clothes will spill into your day and your interactions with other people and not in a good way.
When a garment isn’t comfortable in a physical way, we are also more likely to dislike wearing it. We may even actively avoid wearing it and it languishes in our wardrobe. Conversely, if you are very sensory types, you may keep your clothes longer than they should “because they’re comfortable”. Remember that clothes go out of fashion and also get worn out, which doesn’t communicate a positive message. Identifying your need for kinesthetic clothing choices is one of my 6 Brilliant Strategies for Creating Your Perfect Wardrobe.
Moving out of your comfort zone
If you’ve noticed you’ve been wearing something and you aren’t confident that it is for you or if you put something on and take it off and put it on and take it off and it never actually gets worn then put it aside. Anything that you think is no longer right for you should be evaluated to determine whether it should go or stay (find out what to ask here). Once it’s out of sight it will usually go out of mind as well and then if you don’t miss it, you can more easily know it’s not right and let it go.
Personality is such a huge factor in the clothes we choose, what we like and dislike. It’s important to work with your natural personality to appear authentic. When we dress to highlight ourselves in an authentic manner, we feel the most comfortable and confident. Learning all about what you do and don’t love, and the breadth of personality style can really help you when choosing garments so that you don’t end up with things languishing in your wardrobe unworn
It’s a lie that to be stylish you have to be born with an innate talent for it. Sure some people are naturally more stylish, but I know plenty of people who have learned how to become more stylish using much of the information I share on this blog.
Style is both a science and an art. Fortunately, both aspects can be learned.
It can feel physically or mentally uncomfortable to try wearing something different or new. But trying things out is important. It’s amazing how quickly (and it’s less than a whole month), just trying something new each day starts feeling more natural and easy and gives you more courage to try even more.
This is why I recommend one small change in an outfit each day. Give yourself a chance to assess a small change in your outfit or a new element you’re trying This way you know if something is or isn’t working more easily rather than changing everything and then feeling completely wrong and so throwing the whole lot away as you have no idea of what it is that isn’t working for you. Taking outfit photos will help you assess the success of your outfit, plus provide documentary evidence of what you put together, so you can do it again if you love it!
Download a PDF free of my 6 Brilliant Strategies series here.
One of my favorite posts so far, and I have read a lot of them! Such a good job of explaining the need for each, how to let go of things, and how to introduce change to test your level of comfort. Very well done!
Thanks Katie
This is so true. Great post Imogen. This is why the color & contrast information you offer is so important. And helpful for less naturally creative people like me! Currently I can’t figure out my color nor contrast level and it’s hindering my style confidence a bit. Honestly the only thing I really feel confident in is this turquoise shirt I just bought (https://www.target.com/p/women-39-s-cozy-curved-hem-sweatshirt-joylab-8482-turquoise-xs/-/A-79364973) paired with crisp black leggings. But I can’t determine what contrast level this shirt makes with black. I would LOVE any insights from your trained eye, as it would really free me to create other everyday outfits. Currently this is my go to uniform but it’s quite literally getting worn down (and the grocery checkout clerks have seen me in this outfit 1 too many times lol)!
Catherine – this would be between medium and medium high value contrast (photos are never 100% accurate) – look at this post to give you guidance https://insideoutstyleblog.com/2016/10/colour-scheme.html
Thanks this helped me narrow it down so much! I see this is mono/analogous, but would you say where the dark blue shirt meets the leggings is medium or medium-high value contrast? Finally, I’m finding things that relate to my coloring! All thanks to you!
https://www.wantable.com/fitness/st/57517/nomad-dolman-long-sleeve-black
Imogen, this is such a great post and probably not a topic that many of us think about. The older I get, the more I am bothered by certain fabrics in clothing and so I have been slowly getting rid of clothing that is not physically comfortable. I do have weird strong emotional attachments to my clothing, so cleaning out can be an overwhelming process for me, but I am working on it! Thanks for sharing this and linking with me.
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Great article! When in grade school, I never got the clothes other kids were wearing like T-shirts or jeans and parkas with sneakers or tie-dye. So I made it a statement to look different. Maybe that this is the reason why today I can’t wear the same outfit twice. At least s.th. has to be different than the last time I wore it. LOL.
You are so right about the clutter. Maybe it’s a left-over from our ancestors who were hunters and collectors or a hoarding menatlity.
Thank you for this insightful post. This trying something new everyday is what makes “Evolve your style” so enjoyable. Just being in it I can highly recommend it.
Imogen,
This post really resonated with me ! I have been avoiding wearing two duplicate tops that were the right color and the right style. So what was wrong ? The fabric ! It felt cold when the garment was intended to keep me warm, so off they went to serve someone else !
Thank you for helping me to be aware of this topic !
I have also become aware of how many 3/4 sleeve tops that I have for Autumn, but don’t satisfy me when I need long sleeves for cold weather ! How funny, that I can be so blinded to what should be so obvious ! So I have dedicated those 3/4 length sleeved tops to Autumn and Spring wear and then am packing them away for Springtime, when the weather warms again. I have recently adopted a program of having a rolling capsule wardrobe, with some garments being used in 3 of the 4 seasons that we have, but rotating other garments in and out of the closet , based upon both the changing weather and seasonal colors. During Covid , my at home wear has become predominant, whereas before Covid, it played a much lesser role. So I have decided to take a really good look at how many interchangeable pieces that I actually have for home wear and keeping a ceiling on the total number of garments at any one given time to about 30 -35 items . There was a time in my life that I would have thought of this as much too stringent , but the reality is that I have plenty of options with the mini color modules within that total number, a lot of which are mix and match, though not necessarily all of them .
Thanks for your continued sharing of your expertise !
This is such a great post Imogen! I’m very sensitive to scratchy fabrics and labels – I usually cut the labels out carefully. It baffles me why manufacturers use horrible fabric for labels. I definitely get attached to clothing even though I don’t wear it anymore. I’m a terrible hoarder but I’m starting to tackle it and list stuff on eBay. Thanks for linking up!
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
I think many manufacturers never think about the feel of their labels! And I’m guessing they want to make the process as cheap as possible. It’s great to get this kind of perspective on your own clothing preferences.
Thanks, Imogene, for this interesting perspective. You are SO right about feeling comfortable and good in your clothes. And also about how we hang on to clothes for the wrong reasons! Thanks for sharing.
xx Darlene
This is really helpful. I have few pieces that I’m emotionally attached to but no longer wear it. As you said it maybe I should hold to the memories and not the actual stuff.
xoxo
Lovely
http://www.mynameislovely.com