Jill Chivers from Shop Your Wardrobe and I discuss why showing your vulnerability is an act of strength. Many women want to hide, to be invisible, to not draw attention to themselves. There are many reasons for this, often through feelings of poor self-esteem and worthiness, sometimes from messages received whilst growing up.
Frequently people mention that they are too shy to post a photo of their outfit, that they don’t have the courage to do this. The thought of possible public ridicule or criticism can be crippling for many of us, yet those in my 7 Steps to Style and Evolve Your Style programs who do share their photos develop their style more quickly and become stronger and more confident as they discover this act of vulnerability shows the courage that others appreciate and in turn gives others more courage to share their own style.
Vulnerability sounds like the truth and feels like courage – Brené Brown
Understanding that vulnerability is imperative for true belonging and that it’s closely tied to self-acceptance, is integral in developing a style that is authentic.
Our sense of belonging can never exceed our sense of self-acceptance. The more you can accept yourself helps you to build self-kindness and self-acceptance from the inside out. You are less drawn to the “shoulds” and instead, you have the freedom to explore more what you are most interested in.
Just because someone does something and makes it look “easy” doesn’t necessarily mean that it is easy for them to do. It takes courage to put yourself out into a space that you doesn’t feel natural or completely comfortable. For me, taking outfit photos and making videos for this blog is an act of vulnerability and never easy!
Talking about other aspects of life that make me feel vulnerable, such as my experience with postnatal depression, I believe are things others most likely struggle with too. As I felt very alone at that time in my life, I hope that by sharing my experiences with these human emotions will hopefully help other women to feel that they are not alone and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
There is a difference between authentic vulnerability and attention seeking behaviours designed to elicit a response (these kinds of attention seeking behaviours are commonly seen on social media).
True vulnerability is presenting an authentic, imperfect sense to the world with no particular set of expectations with what is going to happen.
It’s important when you are choosing the be vulnerable that you make smart choices, that you know you can deal with the responses you may get to that information that you’re imparting.
What’s your relationship with vulnerability? I highly recommend reading (or listening) to Brené Brown’s book The Power of Vulnerability if you want to live a more “wholehearted” life.
Further Reading from Jill
- Tailoring Your Self Care Routine:
- 8 Simple Truths About Perfectionism:
- Stop Being So Mean!
- 4 Simple Truths About Body Image:
- Hello Hips! A Letter to my Body:
- PRELOVED (a short documentary which features the impact of self-loathing):
Linking Up toHigh Latitude Style,Currently Wearing, Not Dressed as Lamb,Style Nudge,Style with a Smile
Thanks for sharing this great talk of Brene Brown! She is so right… Helene
Great post. And Brené Brown’s TED talk is fantastic.
Brené Brown’s talk makes me cry every time I watch it. And I’ve watched it a lot. But joining 7 Steps and summoning up the courage to post photos has proved the truth of her research to me. Little old unstylish me ventured hesitantly into the programme and I’ve met nothing but warmth and encouragement and kindness.
Me too! Cry every time. So glad you’ve had the courage to be vulnerable in 7 Steps – you have shared and helped others learn by doing this!