Putting yourself out in public on a blog, like I do here on Inside Out Style makes you a target for internet trolls. Writing a blog and sharing photos of yourself is an act of vulnerability.
The internet is a big, big place, and it makes many people anonymous, so they feel it’s quite OK for them to leave comments like this one:
This year my focus of the year is to be more grateful. So I decided that I would focus on the positive rather than the negative.
10 Things Your Hate Makes Me Grateful For
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I’m surrounded by a loving family
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that most readers are supportive, kind and thoughtful
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I was brought up to not say anything if I couldn’t say anything nice (aka manners)
- Your vitriol makes me grateful for my resilience, born from the hardships and inner strength I’ve developed over my lifetime
- Your vitriol makes me grateful for the amazing community of women who support each other with love and care in my online programs
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I see beauty in all people
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I don’t have this kind of hate in my heart
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I don’t feel the need to belittle others to make myself feel better
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I am true to myself and choose my clothes in an authentic manner that make me happy.
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I am strong and so have no need to take your opinion with any weight
I think Brene Brown put this as perfectly as could be put in her interview here:
“At the end of the day, at the end of the week and the end of my life, I want to be able to say that I contributed more than I criticised.” Bréne Brown
My aim is to help have a positive impact on the lives of women, not a negative one. And yes I feel vulnerable each day when I stand outside my house taking photos of my outfits which I share on the blog (and the neighbours drive past and I’m sure am wondering what I’m doing). I’m not a natural extrovert nor a natural model.
But I think it’s important that us regular people (the not-supermodels) feel that style is achievable no matter your size, shape or age. That there are so many wonderful bloggers out there of all ages who are showing that there is no cookie-cutter style that should be worn by all. That there are alternative avenues to discovering information on style than the glossy fashion magazines. This is why I love my Stylish Thoughts interviews as they show other viewpoints and styles than my own.
Expressing your authentic essence and personality, through your style is my passion in life. It’s called ‘personal style’ for a reason, as it’s individual. We don’t have to love everyone else’s style, or even want to emulate it, but when it comes from an authentic place we can understand it and appreciate it.
As Taylor Swift sings, “haters gonna hate, shake it off” and that’s what I do. But it can be a learned skill to do so. When we’re young we are often told things by those close to us that have a profound effect on our self-esteem that we take as truth rather than opinion.
I’ve met many women over the years who have negative self-image and opinions of themselves due to vitriol and hatred spread by those around them in some way or another.
If you have some of these messages rolling round in your head, then it’s time to examine them and see if they are really true or just an opinion of someone else.
Remember, opinions are not facts.
Life is too short to hate yourself or any of your body parts.
Don’t spend your life hiding your light away and hating yourself. You’ll regret not living your life to the full.
At the end of the day, would you rather be remembered for negativity and criticism or for contributing more positivity to the world?
Oh, and by the way, life is also too short to spend your time hating on others. It’s a toxic way to live and won’t make you happy.
If you’re not keen on what I share here, feel free to move onto one of the other 440+ million other blogs and find the tribe that’s right for you.
Spread love, not hate.