Putting yourself out in public on a blog, like I do here on Inside Out Style makes you a target for internet trolls. Writing a blog and sharing photos of yourself is an act of vulnerability.
The internet is a big, big place, and it makes many people anonymous, so they feel it’s quite OK for them to leave comments like this one:
It’s very easy on the internet to de-humanise others. When nobody knows who you really are, with a fake email address and a bogus username, you can spew any sort of vitriol you like.
This year my focus of the year is to be more grateful. So I decided that I would focus on the positive rather than the negative.
10 Things Your Hate Makes Me Grateful For
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I’m surrounded by a loving family
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that most readers are supportive, kind and thoughtful
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I was brought up to not say anything if I couldn’t say anything nice (aka manners)
- Your vitriol makes me grateful for my resilience, born from the hardships and inner strength I’ve developed over my lifetime
- Your vitriol makes me grateful for the amazing community of women who support each other with love and care in my online programs
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I see beauty in all people
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I don’t have this kind of hate in my heart
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I don’t feel the need to belittle others to make myself feel better
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I am true to myself and choose my clothes in an authentic manner that make me happy.
- Your vitriol makes me grateful that I am strong and so have no need to take your opinion with any weight
I think Brene Brown put this as perfectly as could be put in her interview here:
“At the end of the day, at the end of the week and the end of my life, I want to be able to say that I contributed more than I criticised.” Bréne Brown
My aim is to help have a positive impact on the lives of women, not a negative one. And yes I feel vulnerable each day when I stand outside my house taking photos of my outfits which I share on the blog (and the neighbours drive past and I’m sure am wondering what I’m doing). I’m not a natural extrovert nor a natural model.
But I think it’s important that us regular people (the not-supermodels) feel that style is achievable no matter your size, shape or age. That there are so many wonderful bloggers out there of all ages who are showing that there is no cookie-cutter style that should be worn by all. That there are alternative avenues to discovering information on style than the glossy fashion magazines. This is why I love my Stylish Thoughts interviews as they show other viewpoints and styles than my own.
Expressing your authentic essence and personality, through your style is my passion in life. It’s called ‘personal style’ for a reason, as it’s individual. We don’t have to love everyone else’s style, or even want to emulate it, but when it comes from an authentic place we can understand it and appreciate it.
As Taylor Swift sings, “haters gonna hate, shake it off” and that’s what I do. But it can be a learned skill to do so. When we’re young we are often told things by those close to us that have a profound effect on our self-esteem that we take as truth rather than opinion.
I’ve met many women over the years who have negative self-image and opinions of themselves due to vitriol and hatred spread by those around them in some way or another.
If you have some of these messages rolling round in your head, then it’s time to examine them and see if they are really true or just an opinion of someone else.
Remember, opinions are not facts.
Life is too short to hate yourself or any of your body parts.
Don’t spend your life hiding your light away and hating yourself. You’ll regret not living your life to the full.
At the end of the day, would you rather be remembered for negativity and criticism or for contributing more positivity to the world?
Oh, and by the way, life is also too short to spend your time hating on others. It’s a toxic way to live and won’t make you happy.
If you’re not keen on what I share here, feel free to move onto one of the other 440+ million other blogs and find the tribe that’s right for you.
Spread love, not hate.
Help Learn to Love Your Body More…
Beautiful. Just like you, just like all of us who love what you share.
Thanks so much Robin, love is always the answer!
Imogen, I don’t comment often enough although I read every one of your blog posts. Thank you for putting yourself and your love and caring for others out there each time you post. You are a beautiful and classy lady who enriches your readers’ lives.
Thanks Cynthia, I love what I do, it’s my passion and I’m also lucky enough to be mature and resilient enough to laugh off this kind of comment. I really appreciate you stopping by and reading all the posts!
Imogen, I think you are simply wonderful, helping those of us who are, as you say, the “not-models”, to still enjoy becoming more stylish, in our own wonderful and various ways. You are so kind, encouraging, knowledgeable, and inspiring! That is why so many of us love you–not because you are the apex of style or the model everyone wants to photograph, but because you ARE the champion of individuality in style, of personality, of each person’s journey of self-discovery and making the best of our own lives and looks. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I think that when you think about all the women you have helped, you will know that comments like the ones you shared above are not important enough to get you down.
Thanks Elizabeth, I’m so happy that you too see the beauty in everyone and appreciate your own individual style journey. I don’t let these kinds of comments get me down as I know they come from an unhappy place that I don’t reside in!
You’re a beautiful woman Imogen, inside and out! I have enjoyed your blog so much and am grateful for all the wisdom and inspiration you provide to me and countless others. Thank you!
thanks Amanda – thanks for stopping by and reading and finding inspiration here – that’s all I can ask for!
How gracefully you shake this off. And how grateful I am for all the vulnerability you put yourself through for making this fantastic blog. You have taught me not only about style, but also to more actively seeing the beauty of others.
By the way, I would take “ nerdiest” as a giant compliment. Your analytical approach to style is awesome.
Best regards,
Gro
Gro you are an inspiration to me too – I love that you too see the beauty in others! Nerdy has always been my thing and I’m totally down with it 😉
I also thought ‘nerdy’ was a giant compliment… Hugs
I’m always good with the “nerdy” and take it as a compliment!
Hugs. And more hugs! Too stunned to say anything. Carol S
Thanks Carol and hugs right back! I don’t let this stuff bother me, but know that nasty comments are something we all get in life and thought it was a good reminder to not take others opinions as facts!
You and a warm and loving person and I am so sorry that you are being harassed in this way! You’ve helped so many with your expertise and suggestions and I just think it’s sad that someone would choose this dysfunctional behaviour to approach you.
Thanks so much Bernadette – I don’t let it worry me and I know that my work here has a positive impact, but I know that others may not have my resilience and might take little snipes and comments from so called friends or family to heart when they too should just “shake it off”
Such a powerful and positive message from a beautiful person doing wonderful things for us ordinary women. Thank you Imogen.
I love your perspective. Keep doing what you are doing because you do it so very well.
Thanks so much Annie – it was a great opportunity to write a grateful list, for which I’m grateful!
I am a image consultant from Holland. I Love to read your blogs. I have learned so much from you. So keep up the good work. You are a inspiration to me.
Thanks Marloes, I really appreciate you taking the time to comment! I think we have an amazing opportunity as image consultants to change lives for the better – I think about my work as being in the self-esteem and confidence arena – not fashion – as this is the long term benefit my clients gain!
I was touched reading your post, Imogen. Thank you so much for what you are, do, and share with passion, helping women feel at their best and happier.
Thanks so much Isabelle, I’m glad if I can help you feel just a tiny bit better and happier!
Psychologists say it takes 5 compliments to counteract 1 insult. Here are mine. 1). You are a very pretty woman and, from looking at your old blog posts, I think you look even better now than you did in 2008. 2) You are very generous to freely share your knowledge of style with your readers. 3) Your understanding of style is encyclopedic. I’ve learned more about proportion and cut of clothing that compliment my frame from reading your blog than from any other blog or book. 4) Your understanding of color and contrast is even better. Your eye for color is amazing. You explain things nobody else even mentions. 5) You explain how to put outfits together for every style, not just your own look. You are a master of your craft.
As for your troll, she seems very angry with a lot of rage. To quote the tweeter in chief, …. “Sad”.
Thanks so much Cindy! Having been blogging since 2008 I don’t let this kind of thing bother me (it did when I started but not anymore) but as you say – we all get criticism and take it to heart so easily and so it’s an important thing to remember that we should all give out more genuine compliments to those around us every day!
Dear Imogen,
Please know that you are valued and contribute everyday to your community.
Thanks for being a positive in this very negative world.
I have never commented before-but know I check in everyday.
I find your expertise very helpful. Stay kind and strong.
Thanks Elaine! I really appreciate you coming by and reading – that makes my day! Negative comments are just part of the internet space and I’ve learned to not take them to heart.
You are wonderful, Imogen. I, too, read every one of your posts. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us. I’m glad you’re taking the high road and ignoring the haters.
Wow Diversity – you have read a lot of posts (there are well over a thousand!) I’m so grateful that you keep coming back again and again!
I’m so HAPPY that you put yourself out there for us to read and see all your wonderful blog posts and pictures! I’ve learned so much from you! Thank you Imogen!! <3 <3
Oh Asa you make my heart sing! Thanks for reading and learning – this is my life’s passion and I’m so grateful you love it too.
I am so sorry that you are exposed to such ugly, sick nonsense. I really enjoy your posts and they brighten my day. You have taught me, and so many others, really useful information that adds to our happiness. I hope that many others will write in to support you and to drown the memory of that nastiness. I send you every best wish.
Dear Anne – thanks so much for reading and finding brightness in my posts! This is why I keep going – despite trolls
Ignore them! You are a lady, a marvelous woman, keep going!
Thanks Stella – and you are a marvelous woman too! Thanks for reading and commenting.
You rock, Imogen.
The only one deserving of such ugliness is the individual who posts it.
Thanks Susan! Love trumps hate in my world!
I can not believe someone would say such shocking things to you, Imogen, or really, to anyone. The anonymity of the internet sometimes brings out the worst in people.
You are such a beautiful person, inside and out — I’m glad you have the confidence to ignore anyone who doesn’t see it. Striving to be more like you!
Bette – thanks so much for your kind thoughts – I’m far from perfect but I try to be just a little bit awesome 😉
YESSSSSS!
Thanks lovely Liz! xx
You are lovely and generous to a fault. You are an expert in your field, you educate in a way that is crystal clear and have had an impact on many the world over, including this reader from Canada’s westernmost coast. Thank you for pushing through your vulnerabilities in order to give of yourself — you do Brene Brown proud.
You are too kind Filomena – I try every day to share with generosity all I’ve learned, much of it from fabulous women just like yourself who have taught me so much over the years and helped me hone my knowledge!
It takes a lot of courage to put oneself out there and you are to be commended for that. The internet tends to enable those whose lives are miserable to attack anonymously others who seem to be leading better and happier lives than themselves. While the insults definitely sting, unfortunately these types of attacks have resulted in suicides in many young people who were targeted this way.
I have been fortunate to have found your wonderful blog and the 7Steps program. Keep up the good work and ignore the nuts!
Rebecca – this is totally the reason I decided to write this – I am lucky that I can laugh such comments off and see them for what they really are, but I know that others are deeply affected by hateful barbs like this and think it’s important to share this message to help others feel stronger too.
Oh, and Linds, I’m sorry for the hurt in your life that has caused you to lash out in such a catty way. You’re better than that and I hope you will see that yourself some day.
My dear Imogen I will be linking to this post from my blog. Unfortunate that people project their anger on to others but it’s all about how we take things and make them positive. A bug hug f!
Thanks Lorena – I really appreciate you sharing this – as a blogger you’d be aware of the nasty that can be out there and it’s important not to let them have power over your feelings!
I am so grateful that you do put yourself out there. You are an absolute delight and so many benefit from your knowledge and kindness. Lots of love.
Thanks so much Tara – I’m grateful that you find delight in my posts! Hugs to you.
I think people who post horrible things like that don’t have happy lives. When we are doing what we love and with those that we love, things like that would never cross our minds let alone post them.
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and love it when it drops into my inbox. I have never had any style or dress sense. If I’ve ever looked good it’s either pure fluke or because someone else has dressed me. Reading your blog has made me aware of so many things about colours, body shapes and patterns etc. It’s given me so many ideas and also the confidence to try new things.
The details you put into your blogs and how generous you are to put it out there for free is amazing. Looking good and highlighting your best bits makes you feel good and when you feel good it goes towards having a happy life. You have an incredible talent of being able to put into words and pictures how to look good.
You add value to so many lives in doing what you do.
Thank you.
x
Dear Amanda – I’m so grateful that you feel that I add value to your life! What an amazing compliment. xx
Imogen that’s an awful message to have received. What a load of rubbish. Why would that person even bother to send that, I have no idea. What a brain full of yuck that poor person must possess. You’re lovely and your blog posts are something I look forward to reading every day! I am grateful to you for your positive blog and your lovely other readers for their comments and for this community, even though I don’t recall commenting before. You just have to accept don’t you that there are, bizarre and shameful for humanity as it is, weirdos and crazies out there, some of whom unfortunately are dangerous and or various degrees of quite unpleasant.
Thanks Justine – I’m so grateful that you love to come by and read! Comments always appreciated.
Oh my, that person must have an awful life. If you have not read “Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman” by Lindy West, you should. She delves deeply into this troll topic.
You are one of my favorite bloggers and I so appreciate you. I’ve learned so much and refer to your posts often. It is obvious that you are passionate about your craft and we are all lucky that you share your passion with us!
I’ve not read that book Laurie, but have had a couple of people recommend it to me. Thanks for reading and I’m hugely flattered that I’m one of your favourite bloggers!
I have never before written a comment on any blog that I read. But I am so stunned that someone would decide to write something so nasty on yours, that I am moved to do so now. Your blog is fascinating and incredibly helpful. You are extremely generous with your knowledge and time to share all of this information with us. I find “style” to be a somewhat intimidating topic and you are helping to demystify it for me. Thank you so much for all that you do. And it shouldn’t matter…but I know it does anyway…I think you look fantastic!
Lisa – I’m hugely flattered that your first ever blog comment is here! I’m really happy that you find style just a little less intimidating after reading my posts too. That makes my day!
I have always loved the quote, “Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours burn brighter.” I have only sympathy for someone who shines such an ugly light on to others. You have much to be grateful for, and we are grateful for you.
Janis – isn’t that a great quote and so true! I try and live by this as it’s too easy to let jealousy turn you green if you’re not careful.
Wow! This person clearly hates themselves is all I can think of when reading that comment.
I have been following your blog for several years, did the 31 day challenge, and I believe you give us a plethora of ideas to put our best selves forward.
Keep up the good work. X
EB – thanks so much and you’d know just how much doing EYS can change how you see yourself and others style in a more positive way – keep spreading that positivity too! xx
To me, you are a beacon of beauty and loveliness. Smart and generous, you apply the science of beauty and style to each of your clients. What is better service than that? I have felt so much better about myself since learning about color, value, contrast, fit and style from you. I feel more put together than any other tine of my life! and I’m in my 70’s! Keep it up! Please!! I feel sad for this woman/girl, but she is a minority. The people you have around you are inspirational and adding to the savor of life. I love Jill and the the women you introduce us to. You make the world a better place. We all have to wear clothes, why not do it with flare and fun? thank you, Imogen, for your work and passion. thank you.
Thanks Judith so much – Jill and I love getting together and making our videos and I just love that I’ve found my passion in life and it’s one that makes a positive impact on women’s lives, no matter their age or stage in life! I love that you still find joy and the opportunity to learn in your 70s totally inspirational too. You are never, ever too old for style!
Well done on managing the hurt so you can keep showing up. I’m grateful for that too. An unprovoked attack always sucks. Thanks too for the link to Marie Forleo’s interview with Bréne Brown.
Thanks Michelle – isn’t the video great – I just love Brene’s message – now that’s inspiring!
I’ve never commented before but your post requires a comment. Thank you so much for all the wonderful advice that you have shared with us. I have gotten so much information from you about improving my image. Now my husband tells me often that I look look sharp and polished. You are a beautiful woman who given this community so much good advice while using yourself as an example. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Jms I love it when I find out that you are getting compliments from your husband! How lovely for you and such a positive outcome. xx
Everything good in the world attracts a small bit of negativity now and then, no matter how nicely we approach the world ourselves. I love your blog and the way that you are able to present information that explains why some fashion choices work for certain people and don’t work for others. I always imagine you working with clients and students with the same type of grace and knowledge that you present in this blog. You can rest assured that all your regular readers know that kind of comment for what it is–the self-loathing reflections of an anonymous troll.
Thanks Sandra – I try and work in a positive and enhancing, empowering way, I learned early on from a comment made to me by someone who had seen another image consultant that had hurt them, that language is so super important and that small words can cut deeply. I vowed to try to not make that mistake!
I am appalled by the rant of that troll, and that you should have to read such things. Your response is perfect, thoughtful and wise Imogen. You share so generously so much of yourself, in a blog that targets real women of all shapes sizes and ages and treats us all with respect. Your blog contains more resources and useful content than any others on these topics I have seen. You model a healthy, constructive approach to ones self and others and the whole issues of fashion, style, and well being. Your courses are great value, informative and practical. I feel very fortunate to be able to learn from your expertise. Thank you Imogen.
Thanks Julie – I really appreciate you doing my programs and finding the value in them! Humans are amazing, and it’s our diversity that makes the world and interesting place. xx
Well said, you gorgeous, stylish, generous, cool and intelligent lady????
Thanks so much Francesca! You too are a generous and cool woman I’m totally sure xx
Imogen, you’re a shining Cinderalla and enchanting fairy godmother rolled into one: inspiring by example, sharing the magic. You’re a beautiful person!!!
Now a fairy godmother is a wonderful thing to be! I love that you feel I share some magic Sue – what a beautiful thing to say!
I love quotes. Here’s one for you: “Don’t believe everything you read” (exception: If it is about style and written by Imogen)
There is several reasons why you are followed and loved by so many women. When I read your lovely blogposts I often wish that I was living in Australia, just to get the chance to meet you. Not just because of your style wisdom that is a great gift for regular mature women, but also because you seem so wonderful with a big heart and a genuine aim to help other people.
Delete those messages. Bullying comes from people who feel really bad themselves, and sadly don’t know their own way out. It has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with themselves.
Yes, take all information as something that may or may not apply to you or be true – wise words Karin! If you ever visit here please do let me know as I love meeting my readers – and if I’m ever coming your way we may end up meeting!
Frequent reader, first time commenter. First, you are a beautiful woman who wears clothes beautifully. You’re also smart, generous and funny. I believe this troll worked hard to say the meanest things that came to mind that have no relationship to who you are.
I want to tell you that your blog changed my style life, since I learned how to dress my H shape. (After learning that’s what I have from you.) As I’ve moved into my 50’s, I have to work harder and now have a foundation of color columns that I wear everyday. Again, thanks to you.
I’m also very touched and encouraged by the love and care for each other that I see from your readers as they post photos of themselves taking style challenges. These are regular women like me who get the courage to post photos of themselves for critique! They’ve learned to trust in the kindness and encouragement they will receive from your readers. You bring out the best in all of us. Thank you.
Oh Michele, how touched I am that you feel my blog has changed your life! What an enormous compliment – it’s made my day! The style challenges are life-changing as you see and it’s so wonderful that the world is more full of wonderful and positive women than negative nasty people!
I cannot believe how cruel people can be. The anonymity of the internet seems to make some comfortable being nasty to others. You’re the best, Imogen. Keep doing what you do, we appreciate you?
Thanks Gaagii – I think that many people don’t realise that what they write actually gets read – somehow they think they can just slam out something negative to get their own negative feelings out and don’t realise that we are all just ordinary people with the same kinds of feelings. Thanks so being a beacon of light and love xx
“At the end of the day, at the end of the week and the end of my life, I want to be able to say that I contributed more than I criticised.” Yes!! This is how I try to live and blog. I’m sorry that you’ve been getting hateful comments…it seems to be going around! I like your list of things to be grateful for when the haters show up.
Isn’t this a wonderful quote Susan! It resonated so much with me when I heard Brene say it and they are wise words to live by.
Hi Imogene!
I love your blog! I have been following it for a few years! Your style tips have really helped me style and appreciate me. I don’t have your coloring or body type, so what is flattering on you is not flattering on me. However, what I have gained from your blog over the years is sound advice for enhancing me. Your blog and style tips are for a variety shapes and coloring. For different types of women! Good up the wonderful work. Thank you for your generosity and sharing your knowledge!
Thanks Anna – I know that style is way more than just about me and what I look like – this is why I don’t post “everyone must have” kind of stuff as there is no perfect thing for everyone! So glad you’ve found useful and applicable information for yourself!
Oh Imogen! I’m so sorry you have to be subjected to such hateful comments when you’re doing a job you love and sharing your knowledge and expertise with everyone. We should only have compassion for these trolls as clearly they aren’t surrounded by good role models with family and friends who love and admire them. Usually behind such anger is fear and insecurity. I hope you feel comforted by the hundreds of on-line supporters you have who do admire and respect your work. Don’t stop doing what you do – I look forward to your posts every day!!!! xxxxx
Don’t worry Lynda, I won’t stop (not sure if I can stop), this is my passion in life to share and no troll will stop me! Thanks so much for reading my posts. I am grateful that you bother to stop by.
Be proud and hold your head high! You are clearly so beautiful (inside and out), creative, feminine, intelligent, generous and inspiring – a leader in your field. Thank you for being vulnerable and letting your light shine. I am so grateful that you have turned something negative into a positive and allowed your readers to lift you up. I hope you feel the love and gratitude we all have for you and your work xx
Leanne – you are too lovely and I stay away from negative and look for positives. I’m totally a glass half full with a jug ready to fill it up again! Thanks for coming by and commenting, I really appreciate this!xx
Please, don’t listen to unhappy people who frequently don’t have a life. Your blog is very helpful for many real women. Usted me ha ayudado mucho. Gracias.
Dear Sahyli, I don’t listen to them (but I know that many women who get a little negative comment here or there in their own lives, do take this toxic crap on board). Mucho Gracias to you!
Dear Imogen,
I just recently started looking at your blog, and I love it! It answers so many of my questions I had but didn’t know who to ask! I love fashion, but am not very knowledgeable yet. Your blog is sure going to help me! Loads of Thanks!
SJ
Dear Sarah, I’m really happy that you found my blog and are finding answers to your questions (there is so much here too to go through – so use that search function to find answers to your questions). Thanks for taking the time to comment too xx
Imogen, thank you for turning this ugly rant into a lovely gratitude list. You are such an inspiration! It really takes grace to do that. I am also grateful to be a member of the 7 steps, to have met with you in person, and to be a regular reader of your thoughtful blogposts.Your beauty shines in all that you do!
Thank you
Thanks Lynn, I am really grateful too that you see the value in my 7 Steps program and are taking the time and effort to discover your own glorious style! I totally loved meeting you too!
Imogene, thank you so much for the wonderful contribution that you are making to women’s lives.
I suspect that many of your followers are like me– eagerly looking forward to your posts, but not ever commenting or expressing our appreciation. Your positivity shines through in every article and video, and your genuine desire to help us develop confidence is amazing! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Aww thanks Cathy – taking a moment from your day to comment really makes mine! I’m glad that you feel the positivity that I put into each post.
Some people are so miserable they just have to try to spread it around… that person is pathetic!
And it’s funny, literally not one of the things mentioned in that comment are even remotely true. I regularly get struck by how stunning you look and how interesting and casually classy your outfits are.
You inspire me with your style- it’s really as simple as that. You’re awesome!
Lauren – thank you so much! Just trying to make the world a little more beautiful for all!
Imogen, you are amazing and Inside out style is the absolute best. There are a lot of unpleasant, thoroughly inadequate people out there hiding under the cloak of anonymity that the internet gives them. Block them and try and ignore them.
Thanks Minerva, I really don’t let these kinds of comments bother me – I put them straight into my blog “trash” basket – I just decided that this was a good opportunity to remind others that any little negative comment can hurt and that you shouldn’t take them to heart – no matter their source!
I hope that the many fabulous and supportive comments here make up in some small way for the hurt. You’re such an inspiration to so many of us. Don’t let this stop you doing what you do, you’re so very generous in sharing your great knowledge. Continue to be you – you’re awesome!
Don’t worry Tracey, I don’t think I can stop blogging! I shake it off and move on as I know that it doesn’t come from a genuine or caring place. Thanks so much for sharing some love – you make the world a better place.
As ever, a gracious, intelligent and open-hearted post from you, and all the more brave in light of such behaviour. The pain is theirs, not yours. You are a classy lady in every way. Thank you for all the effort you put into sharing your wisdom and knowledge with the rest of us non-models!
Thank you Sue – who wants to be a model anyway? I love the diversity and beauty in the human race – how it makes the world a more interesting and exciting place. Thanks for sharing some love and light!
Love this post! I’m keeping your list so that the next time someone insults me, I can remember how gratefulness can come from someone else’s negativity. You just go on ignoring the trolls (and isn’t that the perfect descriptor for these people?), and go on providing inspiration and advice to those of us who appreciate (and need) it.
Dear Lisa, I hope you don’t get too many insults! But I really appreciate you getting the value from this list – there is so much research that proves that being grateful changes your brain in a positive way – I just hope that the trolls read this and it changes them!
50 comments says it all Imogen! Life’s too short for negativity and intolerance. Well done!!
Keiran – yes who wants to live in a toxic and negative world? Sadly there is way too much of it around at the moment and I think it’s important to shine some positivity into the world. Spread the love and the light!
Another fan here (i hardy ever comment). I love what you do. Its so nice to see beautiful AND real. More power to you to shake off the haters.
Dear Marg – thanks so much for taking the time to comment and to come by regularly and read. That makes my day (I don’t waste my time on the haters).
Well said. Shame on the trolls out there. Stay strong and know that such nasty people are a tiny minority. I’m grateful for You and your amazing work.
Thank you Wendy – I totally believe that the majority of people are essentially good which is why I do stay strong and keep going as I love to share my passion and knowledge and hopefully just put a bit more positivity into the world.
Hey, me again. I’m having a terrible time trying to figure out my skin tone. It seems like I fit a lot of the cool tone qualifications, I burn but don’t tan, I think my veins are more blue than green, etc. I can’t remember all of the qualifications, and I can’t seem to find the article again. It seems like I’m probably cool toned, but my parents say I look good in lime green and bright orange. How does that make sense? I’ve tried holding colors to my chin like you suggested, and I’m not really sure what’s my imagination and what’s real. I would love to have a consultation, but I can’t afford it. Do you have any advice for me?
Thanks for reading this!
SJ
Tanning has nothing to do with undertone – both warm and cool undertone skins may burn or tan. I don’t look at veins – I also find that sometimes arms are a different colour from faces as arms get way more sun damage. Without seeing you it’s hard – lime green and orange are both warm – now it could be your parents like those colours (so therefor like them on you) or they may suit you. Without seeing you it’s very hard to judge. There are a number of posts on finding undertone that could help you https://insideoutstyleblog.com/?s=discover+your+colours+undertone
I love your blog, your photos, your videos and all the style wisdom you share with us. Thank you for putting yourself out there and for teaching someone like me how to find my own style.
Thanks Stephanie for your kind and gracious comment! There is much to learn and I hope that I can help you on your style journey.
Bravo to you for speaking out in such a gracious, respectful manner! Bravo also for respecting yourself enough to address haters or trolls. You are wonderful and you provide a service that so many women, including myself, need. You are beautiful! Stand strong!
Thanks so much Elizabeth! I’m lucky that I am so strong, I just hope my post helps those who are not as strong as me. Thanks for being beautiful yourself!
Thank you for responding so quickly! I had read those articles you linked me to, but I still couldn’t figure it out. Maybe I should get a friend or my mom to help me. Somebody else is more likely to see what I can’t. Especially since I’m biased about orange and lime green. 🙂
Man, I just love your blog. I am learning SO MUCH! Fashion is my passion, and this blog is helping me make sense of it all! Thank you so much!
Thanks Sarah – there is so much to learn (this is just some of what I’ve learned over the past 14 years or so! Learning colour analysis is something that takes time and expertise – it’s not something most people can do – that’s why people like me do it as a job! There is skill and a whole lot of learning and knowledge involved.
I’d better get a friend to help me, because my mom is likely to be biased about the lime green and orange like me. 🙂
Your blog is the one and only I regularly follow. Not because I need it but because I love it, all the information and inspiration you give for us readers. Thank you!
Thanks Ritva! So glad that you find lots of useful information and inspiration here!
If I just have random questions (after all, this question wasn’t related to the post) do you have a specific place you’d like me to post them, or should I just continue putting them in the comments under the newest post?
Thanks!
If you can do a search to see if I’ve already written a post about that topic – I may already have answered your question – and I see all the comments – whether they are on a new post or an old one – so best to relate it to the topic rather than on the latest post.
You and your blog have transformed me in so many ways. It’s like talking to a sincere friend who is also kind and knowledgeable. May you always have the grace and generosity in your heart that you carry with you, and what all of us feel. I particularly needed to read this as something negative like this happened to me-so hugs to you, and thanks for being you!
Bravo, Imogen! You said it all so well and I applaud you for your honesty, courage, and resilience. You have touched a lot of lives and have helped so many women with your wonderful blog and all of the great advice you impart free of charge. I love how you turned this person’s horrible vitriol into something positive to share with us. I was lucky that over the four years of my blog, I didn’t get too many troll comments, but as a sensitive person, it did hurt me when I received such feedback. At times, I would temper my words for fear of the nastiness that might ensue and at times, I considered quitting blogging because of the trolls. But every time I thought seriously about doing so, I would remember that such people are in the minority and that most readers and commenters are kind and respectful and appreciated the insights I shared. I didn’t put my blog on pause because of the trolls, but they did makes me strongly consider whether or not I wanted to come back. I am going to come back and this post made that path even clearer for me. We can’t let the haters win. I love Brene Brown, as well as this quote from which her book title “Daring Greatly” was taken:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Keep being your wonderful and beautiful self, Imogen. The world needs you, your courage, and your wisdom. Love always wins. xo, Debbie
Thanks Debbie, I love that quote – Brene is totally inspiring and I’m currently reading her new book Braving the Wilderness which I highly recommend http://amzn.to/2zhGsxm as it too talks about the trolls and why they are living in fear and it is those who have courage and are brave who continue to put themselves out there. I don’t believe troll comments actually have anything to do with me. It is that person’s own fears and unhappiness they share, they just feel they need a target as it makes themselves feel better to bring others down. I’m glad that I’ve inspired you to come back! Delete the nasty comments without a thought and remember that they are actually not about you, they are just someone else’s opinion and probably come from an unhappy place, a place in which you do not reside. Never let the haters win xx
Imogen, I think this post is so courageous. You are a lovely stylish lady with her own amazing style blog, training course, downloads, style courses, and books, all of which have helped many people over several years to discover their own individual style. End of!
Perhaps this toxic troll will wake up one day and realise that her (?) values are all wrong. That would be good.
Thanks for your inspiring positivity.
Thanks Jenny – I’m sure the troll is deeply unhappy and I do hope she finds happiness in her life.
I’m sorry to hear this happened because your blog provides valuable information.
I’ve considered starting a blog because it might help me get a job by demonstrating my writing ability, but I really don’t want to put myself out there in part because of trolls.
Dear Reader, don’t let the trolls stop you from shining your light into the world! That is living in fear, instead put your writing out there and you will find that there is much love and support and so much more to gain.
Imogen,
Thank you.
Dear Imogen, I think that people who write hateful comments like this just say so much more about THEMSELVES and THEIR inward life than about the person they are addressing. So keep going, we need more women of your kind, and less of those haters. Sending lots of love from Europe, Simone
Totally agree Simone. It’s not about me at all, which is why it doesn’t bother me. Keep sharing the love.
Imogen, your post is so inspirational and such a beautiful community of supportive people have commented. This is such a reminder that we can focus on what is real and true, and not be so concerned with empty or meaningless negativity. Thanks for this!
Thanks Julia, I refuse to let others bring me down, and I know that trolling has nothing to do with me and so don’t let it get to me. Thanks for the supportive and lovely message
Well said! Nasty people are not worth our time nor energy. Thank you for all you do!
That comment is so nasty and mean….a happy person would never write such things…. I am glad to see that you receive so many possitive comments from other readers. I love your articles and the way you encourage woman to find their own style. And you learn us to not be afraid of having fun with clothes. But apparently not everyone is having fun haha….but thats their problem. Love and greatings from the Netherlands where it’s getting really cold…..
Wow, Imogen! I’m shocked (but then again, not shocked, given the level of toxicity out there on the web) that anyone would direct such hateful comments toward you. As you & others have noted in the comments above, the posts by haters speak volumes about them & have nothing to do with you. It’s so sad that there are people out there who have to try to make themselves feel better by attempting to tear others down. I always wonder what has happened in their lives to make them that way…
I’m so grateful for your blog – you’ve helped me so much in understanding how to dress to look & feel my best. Keep shining your beautiful light!
Thanks Joyce for letting me know that you have learned so much from the blog! I really appreciate your support and reading!
Imogene,
I’ve never posted before, even though I have followed you for 2 years. You have literally changed my life, and I want you to know how grateful I am for giving me the confidence I lacked in fashion. I wish I had known the things you have taught me many years ago. Thank you so much!
Oh Anne – how lovely of you! Thanks so much and keep on learning and growing in your style!
Dear Imogen, thank you for the informative and positive place that you created with your blog. This place is so important for many of us. You bring real change to lives of hundreds of women.
To anyone who has been affected by mean comments on internet, such comments characterize the commenter. No one with a full interesting life would spend time writing mean things to strangers on internet.
Thank you for raising this issue, Imogen. A strong woman like you knows her value, but it is important for us to make sure younger/ more vulnerable people know how to handle these situations.
Thank you and warmest wishes!
Thank you Elena! I hope that others can take inspiration and not be cowed or stopped by the bullies -whether on the internet or in person.
Imogen after I read the troll’s post I read all of the positive lovely posts afterward. What a group of great people are gathered in this place.
I then went back and read the negative post again and now see it as a cry for help. Maybe all of the positive posts will help her/him in some way.
I agree Sharon, trolling is a sign of deep unhappiness.
Oh my! That sounds like the texts I receive from my own sister. I finally had to block her. I am so sorry. Of course, everything she said is absurd. You are beautiful and a lovely, generous teacher, and I can only imagine all the time you spend on your posts. Thank you for them all!
Hugs, Joy
Thanks Joy – and I’m so sorry that your sister has been so unkind to you! That is terrible that she feels it’s appropriate to behave in this way.
The woman who posted the hateful message must have some very deep-seated emotional pain. She is to be pitied more than abhored. Imogine, you are perfect just the way you are.
I’m really glad you haven’t quit–in fact, I got something in my email today from another image consultant who said she nearly did quit on account of all the negativity (the really nasty, mindless kind) she received in a book review on Amazon. You are amazingly brave, and I’m so glad your family supports you. It would be a huge loss to the world if you went slinking away because some crank needed a punching bag. Yours is one of the most refreshing voices out there. Women really need the kind of encouragement you offer.