Do You Only Buy Clothes When You Really Really Have to?


Necessity or Possibility NLP metaprogram


These are two interesting meta-programs and you may find that you work with one in some aspects of your life, and the other in a different part. I know for sure that I’m wired that way.

For instance, whenever I buy a car, I buy it out of necessity. I buy a car that is great value for money, that will last and last so that I don’t have to buy another one for a long time. I buy a car that will get me from A to B and that fulfills my requirements on size and features, but that’s about it. Have you seen that “He/She bought a jeep!” advertisement?

Well that’s aimed at people who are Possibility car buyers – where the car let’s them go all sorts of places on many adventures (I assume any car can do that and I don’t need a Jeep). They are advertising that anything is possible in their car (though the reality is most people use them as the family taxi doing all those mundane daily tasks).

Now, the place I choose to live is all about possibility, it’s why I love to live in a big city, with lots of possibilities for places to go, things to see, people to meet. I’ve lived in a small village and a small city and I just found the lack of possibility constricting and stifling.

When I create a new program such as Evolve Your Style or 7 Steps to Style, I’m all about possibility, it’s about expansion or creating something much bigger and different in people’s lives. Of opening up possibilities in their wardrobes they’d never considered before. Of opening up opportunities in their lives.  Taking you away from the daily necessity of dressing, to the possibility of expressing who you are at your core, through your image.

If you have a wardrobe full of clothes that don’t suit your current lifestyle (and they are not from a previous lifestyle, but purchases with a dream) I’d suggest you are a possibility clothing shopper, where you find an item and can imagine that you will have an opportunity to wear it somewhere fancy, that maybe your current lifestyle doesn’t really include.

I will always remember a shopping trip with a young mother of young kids who lived in an outback country town and she was intent on purchasing a white silk formal dress even though her lifestyle didn’t support it (and she had nowhere to wear it). I realise now that to her it opened up possibilities (though the reality is, many of these possibility purchases are wasted and are never worn).

If you take what life offers without looking further, then you are more of a Necessity person. You may also be happier with a minimalist or capsule based wardrobe.

If you are looking beyond what you can see to what may be, then you are more of a Possibility person. You are more likely to be an Options person too and enjoy a larger more varied wardrobe.

So tell me – necessity or possibility for you?

Discover your colours and style with the best, most comprehensive online style program

More blog posts in this series on the ABCs (Appearance, Behaviour and Communication)

The ABCs of Image – Communication -Introversion and Others Focus

ABCs – Communication and Frame of Reference

ABCs – Do You Like Options or Prefer Procedures?

The ABCs of Image – Behaviour – Self and Others

ABCs – Match or Mismatch


I'm not sure if it's for you but how would you feel if you learned all about the colours and styles of clothing that suit your individual personality, shape and style? Just imagine what it would be like when you can open your wardrobe and pull together fabulous outfits that make you look and feel amazing every day? If you'd like to stop wasting money on the wrong clothes and accessories plus join an amazing bunch of very special women also on their style journey - then my 7 Steps to Style program is right for you. Find out more here.

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  • It is very obvious that I am a possibilities person although I do have “necessities”. Unlikely enough, my craziness does lead me try new venues. I actually am not interested in going to events geared towards being “too casual” since they just don’t seem as festive to me. Getting more dressed up makes me feel happier and that is how I like to socialize.

  • I am not sure. At this time in my life, I think necessities. In general, though, I am a Possibilities person. Someday I will be able to express the possibilities side of my personality.

  • I am a “necessities” person, but if I am looking for a denim jacket, for example, and I find two, I’ll buy the one with more “possibilities”. I’d buy a structured denim shirt that can be worn just as a shirt and also as a jacket on top of a t-shirt if need be. For me comfort is key. Whether it is a car or a shirt, it needs to be very practical, functional, comfortable and multi-task so that I can expand my possibilities. In fall my button-down shirts multi-task as light jackets or I layer short-sleeve tees over long sleeve ones.

    My car is a hatchback sedan ‘cos I can load a ton of things in the boot after folding the seats down if I want. At the same time, it’s not too large to park in a tight spot.

  • I’m both.Because a different lifestyle or sudden change can change the way I think about things.

    Like, people often questioning why Ive 50 pair of shoes, I obviously dont “need” that many, but I don’t live in a situation where I “have to” own only a few pairs.
    If there was a fire accident and my clothes and shoes were all burned up, I wouldnt start buying all these 50 pairs again. I would be more careful.
    But I am clearly aware I can live with one week worth clothes a couple of shoes, but I dont see any reason to minimize it to that amount, but I cant say Im that of person who buy something of impulse and never wear it again either.
    Ive worn 99% of my clothes in my closet, most several times. Now focusing on the clothes I havent worn recently (worn two today actually. I just didnt have “time” to wear them and forget them, which is my wardrobe problem because due to medical reasons, Im staying home more than half of the weeks and wear worn “down graded” casual clothes at home, but are clothes I wouldnt want to show up in to the next dinner). Because, really, even a frugal person or “dont need more than necessary” make mistakes in their life? (Not a direct question). 😉

    When I was a older teen, I was definitly a Possiblity person but when learning more about how your clothes and other things works with your life, I get better with my shoppoholic, but Im quiet a “necessity” person either, Im more in between both. One thing I always come across that when people dislike when people buy “more than necessary” are people, who think clothes/shoes as they do with food and shelter, owning only the amount to survive and to not end up walking naked.

    For me, Ive never seen clothes as “shelter need”, but far from a hoarder, I wear them for variety and self expression — as long as my lifestyle allows it, at least. Living at home, I dont need to worry about how I spend my “pocket money” and this was allow me to shop a few times/month….On the contrary, Im necessity person when it comes to food. I get furious when my parents buy too much food and then throw it away. haha xD

  • I think I am a necessities person and shop accordingly, in the past I have shopped possibilities and those items dont get worn, so now I think twice before purchasing a great item that I cant see myself wearing in the near future.

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