“How did I end up frumpy?”
This is a lament that I hear from women of a certain age who feel they’ve lost their style mojo and they’re not sure when and where they lost it.
It tends to creep up on us, as we get older we tend to have less time to go to shops and try on clothes. Also, our body shape tends to morph a bit, particularly if we’ve had children or gone through menopause.
Often when we put on a bit of weight, either through pregnancy or just life, we look for clothes that are a bit looser, we may look for an elastic waistband, and then we get used to this larger, looser style of clothing. We may also feel like we need to hide our body and start choosing more voluminous garments and wear them together, instead of one at a time.
This all adds to the frump factor.
Then, as we’ve got kids and we are time poor and now hate shopping or feel useless at is as we no longer know what shops to frequent, our clothing becomes older and out of fashion, which also leads to frumpiness.
And how many mothers don’t seem to find any money for themselves, but can always find money to put their kids in the latest trainers or give them a whole new wardrobe every year? Mothers often feel like they are the least important person in a family, the last one in line for anything and everything. We spend money on the kids and the home, before we spend anything on ourselves.
We feel guilty for spending money on ourselves as we are not important enough to be worthy of spending that money.
A friend of mine discovered after she had a ‘nervous breakdown’ as she described it, if she, the mother is broken, the whole family stopped working. Taking some time out for herself, looking after her needs and making herself a priority rather than the last on the list, looking after appearance helped her recover and become a better mother.
Re-discovering yourself is important, we are not static beings and understanding our personality today is an important first step in looking after ourselves and knowing how best to fight the frump.
My kids love that I look after my appearance and that am vibrant and youthful in my appearance and attitudes, they have said to me that they’d prefer I keep dying my hair rather than let if go grey, cos grey hair is only for grandparents. In fact, both of them love to help me get dressed (though I have to have the final say), they enjoy choosing my clothing and accessories and helping me look ‘pretty’ (my kids words).
So how did you end up frumpy and how do you fight it?
If you’ve ended up lost, unsure of your personal style, unsure how to dress the body you have today (rather than the one you had before), then my 7 Steps to Style program is for you. Inside I unpack how to discover your own personal style likes and dislikes (and the all-important “why”, so that you become the expert in your own style). I share my professional opinion on your body shape and features and will tell you which are your ideal colours and contrast are so that you can start rebuilding your wardrobe in clothes that flatter you mentally, emotionally and physically. This program is an investment in your self-care and self-esteem. No matter your age or stage in life, you can feel more stylish and confident every single day.