One aspect of being human is that we like to find things in common with others. This is why we feel comfortable in our tribe. We assume that their values are similar to ours.
Feeling the same or similar to others can make us feel more comfortable and that we fit in to our community or peers, that we are “right”.
Anyone who has brought up a teenager is likely to hear “but I need those shoes/pants/top as all my friends….” or the like. Being the same to peers (not necessarily family at that age) is super important to teenagers.
As we grow up, some of us continue to value the sameness, being alike.
Others of us would prefer to be different in some way or other.
I will always remember one of my Image Consulting (personal styling) students telling us in training just how much she values difference. She told us that when she was at school she’d always have to tweak her school uniform to be different from the other girls. And when others copied her, she’d tweak it again (much to the disapproval of the Nuns who wanted her to dress in the school uniform the prescribed way).
Even during her training when another student (who enjoyed being the same) would even comment on “yes I like that too” or “yes I’m the same as you” this student would immediately find a way to explain how no, they were different. In fact when we talked about this aspect of how we think and behave, she told us that she feels very uncomfortable when others want to be the same as her. It’s like an irritation that she has to scratch immediately, to find a way to assert her difference.
How do you apply this to your current wardrobe?
Being Different and More Uniquely Dressed
Well it’s useful to know if you want to be like others around you. To fit in with their current fashion decisions. Or if you’re happiest when you are expressing your own unique style that is different from others.
People who prefer difference hate it when others ask where they bought something (these people are usually sameness people, as they want to know where to go to find stuff the same). They may lie about where they got it, or just brush you off with a “oh I got it overseas” or “this old thing, it was a few seasons ago” or “I can’t remember” (so if that has happened to you, now you know why).
Being In Fashion and The Same as Your Peers
If you prefer sameness, you’ll likely want to keep more current and add a little of each of the latest fashion trends that comes through each season. You are more likely to shop the “high street chains” than source garments through small boutiques or artisans (or even consignment).
You are more likely to want to know the dress code at every function. You’ll call the host to clarify a dress code and call your friends to find out what they’re wearing.
If you prefer difference you will be scouring sources for the unusual, the unique. You may like to shop on Etsy, have clothes made for you, or go out of your way to find unique boutiques that sell small labels you won’t find in malls.
Have you noticed which of these you tend to veer towards?