When I work with clients, one of the first things I aim to understand is why their clothes aren’t working for them. Often, their struggles with style stem from deep-seated attitudes toward clothing—beliefs they may never have consciously examined. Have you ever wondered why you gravitate toward certain shopping habits? Or why you feel uncomfortable spending more than a certain amount on clothes? Perhaps you wear items that don’t truly reflect who you are today.
The Origins of Your Attitudes Toward Clothing
Our attitudes toward clothing don’t appear out of nowhere. They are shaped by personal history, family values, cultural influences, and societal expectations.
For example:
- Some people see clothes as purely functional—just a way to cover the body. They may not realise how fashion can be a form of self-expression or a source of joy.
- Others may have grown up with frugality deeply ingrained in them. This can make it hard to justify spending money on something as “non-essential” as a stylish wardrobe.
- Some feel the pressure to dress a certain way due to professional or social expectations. This can create a disconnect between their personal style and the image they think they should project.
Unpacking Your Attitudes Toward Clothing
I had my own epiphany about shopping after reading Brenda Kinsel’s Wardrobe Companion and working through her questions about shopping history. One of my key realisations linked back to my childhood. I could still hear my mother’s voice saying, “I’m not buying you any shoes; you’ll just grow out of them, so it’s a waste.” What I internalised from this was: “You’re not worth the full price.”
This belief led me to become a lifelong bargain shopper. I felt I could only justify clothing purchases if they were discounted. It wasn’t until I recognised this subconscious belief that I could begin to shift it. I realised my worth wasn’t determined by whether I bought something on sale.
Many of us carry inherited beliefs around clothing, shaped by past generations. My mother was raised by a mother who lived through the Great Depression and WWII. Extreme frugality was ingrained in her, and she passed those habits on to me. Recognising this helped me separate her story from my self-worth.
For more on how personal experiences shape our shopping habits, check out my post on The Relationship Between Self Esteem, Value and Your Shopping Habits
Reframing Your Relationship with Clothing
The more we understand our style preferences and beliefs, the easier it becomes to make empowered clothing choices. When you shift your mindset, you realise:
- Buying quality pieces that align with your personal style is an investment, not an indulgence.
- Clothes should reflect who you are now, not outdated beliefs from the past.
- Shopping should be a mindful, intentional act—not driven by guilt, scarcity, or habit.
Of course, I still love a great bargain! But now, I buy based on value—not just price. A cheap item that doesn’t suit me is a waste, no matter how little it costs.
For a deeper dive into curating a wardrobe that aligns with your values, check out my 7 Steps to Style program.
Your Right to Feel Great in Your Clothes
Have you ever stopped to examine where your attitudes toward clothing come from? If not, take a moment to reflect. Understanding your shopping history and style evolution can help you break free from limiting beliefs. Clothing is a tool for self-expression, confidence, and joy.
You deserve to feel great in your clothes—regardless of size, shape, or budget. When you dress in a way that truly represents you, you not only elevate your own confidence but also contribute to making the world a more beautiful, expressive place.
My attitude towards clothes comes from my short stature. I'm 4'11", and have a bit of an ego, so when I couldn't dress myself the way I wanted to, I took it as a challenge and was determined to put together a "perfect" wardrobe.
I approach shopping with the same "petite girl on a mission" attitude, and it's made me almost an obsessive shopper, always looking for that perfect something.
It only helps that both my mother and maternal grandmother were sharp dressers in their day, and deem clothing an important investment.
It's an interesting thought really.
I LOVE a bargain, as I've been through skint times as a child, and of course we all go through skint times as adults too.
If you were to look at me a year ago, I had a couple of pairs of jeans(identical), and a couple of tops. That was it. I had no style.
Yesterday I went into a shop and was asked where I get my clothes as I am always dressed so beautifully. I make all I wear now. For me, that is the be all and end all. I feel as though I look good, and other people obviously agree.
I don't think I have a true style though
So much of your clothes history reminds that of mine, so I don´t have a need to repeat it. Your analysis of the past is also right. I believe I´m right, when I say that you in turn, wish to treat your children differently. I can only hope, that the children of today won´t end up with behaving like our own parents. Having all your wishes come true, is not a perfect solution either.
Metscan, I think you're right, but I also (gingers crossed) think that today's children have seen both sides of the coin and can make a better decision in the future. Having said that, have you seen how many spoilt kids there are today…
And my attitude comes from life in a British university. You learn to be as skint as anything! But all in all a really informative, useful (and great to read!) article!
Clothes make a huge difference. I notice it when I shop (anywhere). Dressed clean, neat, crisp and stylish, I get waited on hand and foot; in my grubbies, I get ignored continuously.
Additionally, if I'm at a meeting, either making a presentation or just attending, and am in a business-like outfit, I'm respected and effective. This doesn't count how the clothes make me feel – if I'm in a fabulous outfit, I feel great, period!
To say that clothes don't matter is just plain foolish and oblivious to the way of the world. It can go overboard to the negative side, but it can also go overboard to the frumpy side.
No matter what your style, shape, environs or circumstances are, clothes matter. If you want to make a certain statement, clothes are and will always be a part of that.
I know a lot of my attitudes stem from my mom's attitude toward clothing. She was a bargain shopper and (understandably) even more so with a kid who would just outgrow everything in a few months.
But I *still* find it hard to spend more than $20 on something. I do, but every time I feel a little guilty. So I have a closet full of cheap crap. It doesn't look good, fit well, or wear well. And even though I have a body that really *should* necessitate lots of tailoring, I don't do it. #1 it adds to the cost and #2 if I'm buying cheap crap in the first place, why double the price to alter if if it's going to fall apart soon anyway?
I realize this is a huge problem in how I think and shop and I'm actively trying to change it. But it's hard. Even when I tell myself "Kelly, you made a personal promise not to buy cheap crap anymore" I still find myself gravitating toward the less expensive stores.
nice post! my attitude is a bit schizophrenical. I have a "punk" attitude from within, and an existencial and creative interest of matching your inner personality, and inner charm, with your outfits. but I also sometimes feel clothes are a bit shallow and want to be myself a lot without bother too much. so I handle clothes like something I do with my right hand, while I look away with my eyes because I feel they can be important to show your personality, but still feel there are more important things in life. I think too much. but this makes me have a very carefully selected wardrobe as every piece is supposed to "be a part of my personality" *rolls eyes* phew. Im picky. also I dont like to buy expensive clothes, it's just not worth it, so I go through the thriftstores although I actually dont like looking for clothes that much, I look at it very practically. I still want to have fine and pretty, personal clothes. it can be very time-consuming so i keep it on the minimum, like go through the stores and internet trading routes one time a month with a very practical mind, sort of like cleaning. i always look for pieces that a) will make my wardrobe more useful and easy-to-use b) are personal and enhances my personal charm and just one's personality overall. 🙂 it's pretty complex! I want to be "me" but I want people to see how pretty I am on the inside on the outside, so there you have it.
..and h&m, topshop, monki etc are a good source of easy-to-use clothing.
During my early childhood (till age 12) money was EXTREMELY tight because my dad was in medical school. I definitely learned to take care of what I have and look for a bargain. Then, I was overweight during my high school and college years so I learned to hate clothes since they never looked good on me and I couldn't wear what my skinny friends wore. I'd buy tons of cheap clothes in a never ending quest to find anything that worked. FINALLY, as I entered the career world, I learned to style my body the way it was and to invest in quality. But it's been only recently that I finally stopped buying clothes in the sizes I hoped to be. And I still love a bargain!
Excellent post! Lots to think about!
I've just been reading "The Thoughtful Dresser" by Linda Grant. Anyone who is interested in why we are so interested in clothes and what the clothes we choose mean would enjoy this.
My mother was a professional seamstress and made almost all of my clothes, including my wedding dress and the dresses for my wedding party (bride's maids and flower girl). She spoiled me rotten, as I was able to select my patterns and fabrics. She also molded my attitude about dressing appropriately for the occasion and putting my best foot forward by looking my best. For me, clothing reflects how I feel about myself and affects how I want to be perceived by others. Now that she's passed away, I have to shop retail like most other people in the world. SIGH